Saturday, June 9, 2012

Weight Loss Is NOT Easy (but it's always worth it)

In the past I've had nay sayers to my weight loss goals tell me
that because I can't eat this or that my weight loss is easier
than it is for them because it's "so hard to stop eating xyz"
I've had people tell me my goals are too much, that I'll be too thin,
or too muscled or I'll become a skinny bitch etc...

All I have to say to that is no, my weight loss has NOT been an
"easy" journey.  I've been suffering with a debilitating disease
for the past 10 years called hidradenitis suppurativa.  It causes
sweating to cease in some areas of your body, and in those areas
toxins build up under the skin and become terribly swollen, full of
blood and puss and are hot and painful to the touch.  They often become
open wounds and cause sitting, standing, walking... MOVING, NOT MOVING
to be painful.  There hadn't been 1 day in the past 10 years where I wasn't
bleeding from one of these wounds and I could have up to 20 at a time.

When I first started working out my legs slapped together and rubbed together,
and my upper legs is where the majority of these sores occur.  It was
EXCRUCIATINGLY painful for me to workout.  So much so I often cried during my
workouts. Sweating did not happen very easily, my body would just flush red and it couldn't
cool itself so i had to stop often for water breaks so I could cool down. I wanted
to give up, it was hard, but I had heard that weight loss could help my wounds heal. 
And after a few months, they did start to slightly improve.

I had also heard that dietary changes could help.  So first I cut out all dairy
products. Not easy to do AT ALL, as dairy was my favorite thing.
But the wounds significantly improved.  Instead of the 10-20 I had open
every day, it became 5-10, my workouts improved because of this as well
as I was in less pain so I was more able to workout.

This last month I discovered the ROOT cause of my disease, my kidneys were clogged.
Which sent all the excess toxins it couldn't handle to my lymph nodes, and what the
lymph nodes couldn't handle, they sent out through my pores as these lesions.

I found out that if I ate ONLY raw fruits and veggies (and sooome nuts and seeds) that
I could heal my body and the wounds would start to go away.

None of this was easy for me, I DO miss my favorite foods, I miss fresh baked bread,
I miss marshmallows, I miss soo many things.  Does it matter?  No.  Why?  Because
I'm not in pain anymore.  (some from time to time but overall... not in pain)

I'm 3.5 weeks into this diet, and for the first time in 10 years my thighs don't hurt
when I walk.  When I sit in a friends couch I no longer have to worry if my blood is going
to stain their couch.  I no longer am in pain when I sit down, I no longer cry when I stand up
from a seated position because a sore stuck to my chair/pants/underpants and ripped open
when I stood up.

So no, working out and changing my diet was NOT easy for me.  It's been a horrible, beautiful
struggle that I've forced myself to face.  It took courage and strength that no one else could give
me but myself and Yah. (God) And I know I've not even got it that bad, I know there are
others out there who started out their journey with lost limbs and they still pushed themselves
and overcame their fears and challenges as well! 
So before you look at someone who's lost a lot of weight and belittle their efforts, remember
it's never easy for ANYONE, but it's always worth it!

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